What is this about
Modern life, Thoughts, myself, idk.
This post wont add any value to you, This is a personal post about my inner thoughts and how I feel about them. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, but I just want to share my thoughts and feelings about my inner thoughts.
Whenever I sit down to have a moment with myself… I start to fight my inner thoughts in order to get calm and enjoy some peace, but I never win the fights. Not following any kind of news (political mostly) helped me to get better at having some inner peace, but it was not enough because I think about the past and future often—about what went wrong, what could go wrong, and what can go wrong.
We often hear people talk about their inner demons. My inner demons have taken over my mind in the form of thoughts. I can’t have a moment with myself in silence, peace, and stillness.
Thinking is not the problem, but constant thought is. I think meditation will help, but I just can’t keep meditating every day in our busy life. We are constantly getting bombarded by news, ideas, and changes. I… myself can’t take this anymore.
I used to love change and new things, but lately I have reconsidered it—maybe because of a lack of work-life balance and too much work with no rest in between.
Sitting in the bus and suddenly being stressed out about how, four years ago, you could have died if it wasn’t for—dreaming about that dream job interview or that side project with zero users to finally free yourself from working for others… bro, just stop. Reality sucks. Nothing ever goes as planned.
Maybe capitalism really sucks. Working like slaves was never the plan. I’m not being lazy—sometimes I work 12 hours a day under “It’s urgent and important that we get it to production by Monday.”
People talk about high school days like it’s some nostalgic era. Back then, it even sucked more.
Even when I try not to think, there is a white noise playing in the background, which is very annoying. What is true silence anyway? I don’t think humans were designed to live like this.
And most of the time, you’re not even solving anything—just repeating things and overthinking, which you don’t even notice, but it’s still exhausting.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard was: wake up earlier than your work and spend time and mental effort on things you want to achieve—not on someone else’s dream.
We have normalized mental exhaustion like it’s a badge of honor to always be thinking and being so-called productive, but real thoughts don’t come to you when you are burning in your thoughts. Most of the thoughts are just nonsense.